It’s been a long time since I have felt so distressed about work related issues. The bleakest moments are known by so many, as they are detailed in Catching Babies. And I’m not an apprentice when it comes to being in the media spotlight in a negative way, indeed I wrote about it for the March edition of Essentially MIDIRS.
Lots of you will know that I am also an advocate for social media and the amazing benefits it brings, I regularly give talks on the subject and have written about it extensively. During the sessions and in my written work, I always mention the ‘dark side’, when social media has a negative impact, and how it's important to protect yourself. There is an abundance of clear guidance to help with this.
But nothing prepared me for the events recently, and I am still processing the effects it has had on me personally. I won’t be mentioning any names. Firstly, I don’t want to draw attention to individuals who make it their life’s work to damage the lives of others. Secondly, I am clear about my professional boundaries, and personal integrity. But for those who continue to intimidate, harass and bully individuals and professional groups, and to undermine evidenced based models of maternity care, I have one message.
I have wobbled, but your actions have made me stronger.
After writing this post, my supportive and inspirational friend @JennyTheM sent me this. What more can I say?
Another attack - when will it stop?
6th November 2015
Those of you who know me won't need to hear this. But for those who don't, please let me tell you that I've never bullied anyone in my life, let alone bereaved parents. I don't know what pleasure individuals get from being slanderous and cruel to others - it's beyond me. I suppose it's fuelled by the same emotions and hatred that starts wars.
Ignoring libellous allegations is all I can do, but I am saddened and perplexed how my name can be used maliciously with no recourse. It seems unjust, but I will not respond. I will not succumb to negative exploits with more anger, instead I will show compassion - which is more than the pity I feel. That's not to say I don't suffer in my silence.
I am privileged that my career has been totally dedicated to serving others, and for many years when working in the NHS, my role was focused on those in need, bereaved, or traumatised. I retired from my employed midwifery position with the NHS in 2010, to study, travel and to help with my grandchildren. Because of an incessant drive and passion to improve maternity services, based on decades of experience, I continue to work mostly voluntarily, supporting and encouraging maternity care workers, and parents. I gift my time and energy to others, and I love it.
Nadia and Paul tragically lost their beautiful baby son Ellis, when he was stillborn. Nadia sent me this, earlier this week.
Compassion, love, kindness and respect are the foundations of life.